ew

icky icky
yuck puke
oh, sick
gross

April Murdock
12.2001

Judgmental

You say I’m judgmental;
I say I care.

You say I’m selfish;
I say I share.

You say it’s black;
I say it’s white.

You tell me my faults;
I ask for what’s right.

In spite of your method and manner critiquing,
I appreciate your concern for my well-being.

April Murdock
12.14.01

My Eternal Spirit Weeps

My eternal spirit weeps to be trapped in this weak mortal body.
Constantly they battle, never to be reconciled.
It tears my soul and pains my heart to be at odds with myself.
My spirit’s desire is to conquer sin and carnality, but something blocks it.
I must remove the block
Aaagh, but it’s big
And heavy
And very slow dying.

I can’t do it alone.
The Savior will help me,
If I let Him
How?
I try to open my heart to His healing, but my body fights back and says
It can’t.
Still, my soul yearns to be freed from these chains,
To rise from this dreadful hell to heaven’s refuge where it is destined to rest.

April Murdock
12.14.01

emotional cliff

on stable ground
atop a threatening cliff,
my toes grip the edge in fear
as i compel myself
to take the deep plunge

jump, i say
jump, jump, jump
just do it—
it’s that simple.
JUMP

but a jump is irreversible
and gravity is not my friend
once i step off, i will
fall,
fall,
for what seems an eternity
until i hit the water

on an impulse
(i don’t know from where it came)
i finally jump
and as i fall,
i’m sure i am going to die
i just left my stomach up there and
i’m still falling and
i
can’t
stop

i slap the water and it stings
i hurriedly cover my wedgie
The water closes over me and thoughts of suffocation enter my mind as i fight my way upward to air

When i surface,
i gasp and think
what a RUSH
I’ll go higher next time.

April Murdock
3.29.01