emotional cliff

on stable ground
atop a threatening cliff,
my toes grip the edge in fear
as i compel myself
to take the deep plunge

jump, i say
jump, jump, jump
just do it—
it’s that simple.
JUMP

but a jump is irreversible
and gravity is not my friend
once i step off, i will
fall,
fall,
for what seems an eternity
until i hit the water

on an impulse
(i don’t know from where it came)
i finally jump
and as i fall,
i’m sure i am going to die
i just left my stomach up there and
i’m still falling and
i
can’t
stop

i slap the water and it stings
i hurriedly cover my wedgie
The water closes over me and thoughts of suffocation enter my mind as i fight my way upward to air

When i surface,
i gasp and think
what a RUSH
I’ll go higher next time.

April Murdock
3.29.01